your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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