Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
