how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
This baby is an asshole
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
where are my eyebrows?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
