i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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