i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
