And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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