people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
