sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
