I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
