Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
