apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
