you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
