so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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