I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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