don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
