Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
