he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If I die, sorry about rent.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
