pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
