i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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