I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
