Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
