Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
This is my gift to your gina
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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