I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
