Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
