So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
