i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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