1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
