At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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