I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
