we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
porn star boner night. come get it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize