He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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