She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
