Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
