There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
