Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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