Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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