Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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