I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
