I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
