When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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