i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
