I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
