They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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