dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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