I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
