I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Randomize
