Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dicks are not precious.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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