Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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