honey bunches of taint.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
