you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
