farters have to be the big spoon...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize