So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
