after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize