i can't believe i had my finger in that
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
