Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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