We named our party play list daddy issues
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
