i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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