I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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