There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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