It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
